36 Floors Across:
Long Live the Hamster!
36 Floors Across: Long Live the Hamster!
Selected Scene
EXT. GRANDMA DODGER’S SKYSCRAPER – DAY
A BANDIT VAN races toward Grandma Dodger’s skyscraper, POLICE CARS in hot pursuit.
The van screeches to a stop at the main entrance.
A POLICE OFFICER jumps out of his car, rushes to the van and yanks open the door.
POLICE OFFICER
I hope you’re not late, Mr. Charlie?
He offers Charlie his hand.
CHARLIE
For your sake, I hope not.
Charlie takes the Officer’s hand, steps regally out of the van and marches toward the skyscraper entrance.
POLICE OFFICER
Always a pleasure to serve you, ruler of the Dodger Empire!
Scribbler waves from inside the van.
SCRIBBLER
Good luck, Boss!
INT. GRANDMA DODGER’S SKYSCRAPER – LOBBY – DAY
Romantic music fills the lobby.
The walls and chandelier are decorated with PINK BALLOONS and WHITE BOWS. Security guards and wedding guests are dressed in white.
Charlie stands in the middle of the lobby, watching the floor numbers change on the elevator display.
DING!
The elevator doors slide open.
Inside stands GRANDMA DODGER — his BRIDE — dressed in a white wedding gown, a diamond necklace sparkling around her neck.
GRANDMA DODGER
Darling! I’m so happy to see you! And I’m even happier to give you this!
She hurries over to Charlie, bows and presents him with a lace pillow.
A GOLDEN KEY rests on top.
Charlie pretends to be surprised.
CHARLIE
What is it, my darling?
GRANDMA DODGER
It’s the key to the vault where I keep all my money! And now it’s yours!
(cheerfully)
I’ll have the hamster couriered back to the pet store.
Charlie accepts the pillow.
CHARLIE
My love, before I visit my new vault, there’s one little formality we need to take care of.
GRANDMA DODGER
Anything you want, darling!
With a subtle nod, Charlie signals the WEDDING OFFICIANT.
CHARLIE
Begin.
Charlie takes Grandma Dodger by the arm.
The Wedding Officiant dances through the crowd, studying the guests as he goes.
He stops beside the happy couple.
WEDDING OFFICIANT
If anyone here objects to this union — if anyone objects to Charlie, rather than some hamster, becoming the owner of the Dodger Empire — speak now or forever hold your peace!
ROBBY, BOBBY and BEN DODGER smile and dab away tears of joy with their handkerchiefs.
The Wedding Officiant looks around.
WEDDING OFFICIANT (CONT'D)
I see everyone approves. So—
VOICE BEHIND CHARLIE (O.S.)
I object!
Charlie spins around.
CHARLIE
What?! Who’s there?!
The entire wedding scene instantly DISSOLVES INTO THIN AIR.
INT. CHARLIE’S OFFICE – DAY
Charlie stands in front of a mirror, his back to his desk.
AGENT HUGH sits comfortably in Charlie’s chair, grinning.
Charlie whirls around.
CHARLIE
You?! If you ever... ever... show up like that again and scare me, I’ll... I’ll—
HUGH
I was joking, Boss! Just joking!
Hugh laughs.
HUGH (CONT'D)
You really got into the role of the groom! Wonderful performance, Boss!
He APPLAUDS.
Charlie glares at him.
CHARLIE
It’s not a role!
He turns back to the mirror and continues adjusting his suit.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
Better find those three big idiots with the van. Tell them I want them working for me. Have them come to the skyscraper and lie low until I need them.
(beat)
That’s all. Get out of my sight!
Hugh laughs.
HUGH
Yes, Boss!
He puts on his INVISIBILITY BASEBALL CAP —
and DISAPPEARS.
Charlie walks over to the window.
Outside, the skyscrapers of the Dodger brothers tower over the city.
Charlie gazes at them.
CHARLIE
Very soon, all of this will be called Charlie Town.
A satisfied smile spreads across his face.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
And there’ll be a new empire here.
(beat)
Mine.
Charlie looks at his reflection in the window.
CHARLIE (CONT'D)
Because this isn’t a role.
(beat)
This is my plan.