MY GRANDPA NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL

MY GRANDPA NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL

Selected Scene — Opening

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

MOM and DAD jump into their car.

Dad checks time on his watch. He’s already nervous.

DAD
Why couldn’t we just call him? We’re going to be late for the meeting!

MOM
You think I didn’t call?!

Dad starts the car.

DAD
Maybe he climbed a tree...

MOM
He’s not answering his phone!

DAD
Maybe he left it under the tree. On a bench...

Dad pulls away.

DAD (CONT'D)
Maybe he’s on the swing. Maybe he’s testing out a rope ladder. I don’t know.

He thinks.

DAD (CONT'D)
What else could he possibly be doing...?

MOM
Just drive!

Dad mutters to himself as they go.

DAD
Nobody ever knows what he’ll come up with next...

EXT. GRANDPA’S HOUSE – DAY

The car pulls up in front of the house.

Mom jumps out and hurries into the yard.

Dad follows at a much more leisurely pace, repeatedly checking his watch.

MOM
Dad! Is it really that hard to pick up the phone?!

She looks around.

MOM (CONT'D)
Dad, where are you?!

GRANDPA (O.S.)
Don’t come any closer!

Mom stops.

Looks up.

MOM
Dad...

(beat)

Again?

Dad slowly catches up with her.

He spots a PHONE lying on a bench.

DAD
There’s the phone. On the bench.

He gives Mom a knowing look.

DAD (CONT'D)
Told you.

Dad heads toward the bench.

GRANDPA (O.S.)
Stop!

CLICK!

Dad steps into a TRAP beside the bench.

DAD
Damn it! What is this?!

He struggles to free his foot —

then checks his watch.

DAD (CONT'D)
Now we’re definitely going to be late!

Mom looks up toward the tree.

MOM
One of your tricks again, Dad?

GRANDPA’S face appears through the leaves.

He starts carefully climbing down.

GRANDPA
Wasn’t me.

(beat)

Your son.

Dad struggles with the trap.

DAD
Open!

He yanks at it.

Nothing.

Checks his watch again.

MOM
Speaking of our son...

She looks around.

MOM (CONT'D)
Where is he?

A CHILD’S SCREAM comes from inside the house.

BOY (O.S.)
Mom! Mooom!

Mom races toward the house.

Dad shoots Grandpa an irritated look while still trying to pull his foot free.

DAD
You two never get tired of playing games, do you?

He points toward the house.

DAD (CONT'D)
Read a newspaper or something! You’re retired!

GRANDPA
If you watched your son instead of your watch, I would’ve already—

A SCREAM from inside.

MOM (O.S.)
Help!

Grandpa immediately perks up.

GRANDPA
Aha! The little guy got caught!

He rushes into the house.

Dad remains trapped.

DAD
What about me?!

Grandpa disappears inside.

DAD (CONT'D)
Anybody want to help me?!

Dad sighs.

Checks his watch.

INT. GRANDPA’S HOUSE – STAIRCASE – DAY

Between the first and second floors —

the BOY hangs UPSIDE DOWN by one leg, gently swinging from a rope.

Mom stares at him, bewildered.

MOM
Dad, what have you two been doing here?!

Grandpa works on the rope, freeing the Boy.

GRANDPA
He didn’t want to review his math.

BOY
I reviewed everything!

GRANDPA
Everything except math! Don’t argue!

Grandpa frees him.

The Boy pulls himself away, shoves past Grandpa and storms toward his room.

BOY
How would you know?!

He turns back.

BOY (CONT'D)
Did you ever even go to school?!

Grandpa freezes.

He slowly turns to Mom and points after the Boy.

GRANDPA
See?

Dad finally enters, still irritated.

He gestures discreetly to Mom:

TIME TO GO.

Grandpa notices.

GRANDPA (CONT'D)
Other than that, everything’s fine here.

(beat)

Don’t worry.

DAD
Good.

Dad puts an arm around Mom and starts guiding her toward the door.

Mom reluctantly follows, looking back and forth between Grandpa and the door to her son’s room.

GRANDPA
Everything’s fine.

Grandpa looks at the CLOCK on the wall.

GRANDPA (CONT'D)
It’ll be dinnertime soon.